Many aspects of my life – behavior, relationships, pursuits - have been shaped by profound generational trauma. I didn’t get a healthy instruction book for life because my parents did not, theirs did not, and so on.

My mother was extremely abusive and emotionally neglectful when my sister and I were young. Raised as a stoic Midwesterner, she rarely talked about her own abuse, but I knew my grandparents well enough to surmise that it was devastating.

My father was often absent, traveling for his job. When he was home, he was either oblivious to the abuse or didn’t know what to do about it. I was angry at them for much of my life. This anger affected me and many of those in my path.

Through recovery and effective trauma therapy, I have made my peace with them, forgiven them (and others), and tried to make amends where I can to those I’ve hurt. This process has granted me more empathy, forgiveness, and grace than I could ever have imagined. I wish I had asked for help sooner. The world is full of people who never do, especially in prison and on the streets.

Despite a lot of progress, we still live in a society that stigmatizes addiction and mental health issues. Asking for help is subtly and tragically discouraged by stigmatizing such afflictions, having widespread and long-term effects.

I’ve come to realize that most folks have good hearts. They’re simply navigating life doing the best they can while dealing with their own stuff, trying not to leave wreckage behind. Some are more successful than other. Just the process of growing up is traumatic to varying degrees for everyone whether they are aware of it or not.